tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86492168362796309672024-02-20T15:47:52.842-05:00Writing In LifeChristinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-30047475884099399282013-06-27T23:08:00.001-04:002013-06-29T22:53:45.465-04:00Numb
Tears unprovoked.
My subconscious can tell you all.
But my forthoughts?
They are muted - stifled.
I'd be ruined.
Wracked with a pain that terrifies-
A loss so great,
it would leave me beyond the solitude,
Emptiness already palpable.
So I let the tears fall thoughtlessly.
I dry my eyes.
I continue on in a trancelike state.
I Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-83664390303986394432012-07-15T14:51:00.001-04:002012-07-15T16:40:07.813-04:00Self Fulfilling ProphecyI seem compelled to ruin,
Before ruin ruins me,
It's my self fulfilling prophecy,
Sometimes it surprises me,
Sometimes I do it purposely,
All to guard against casualty,
I am my own worst ememy.
At this war's end there will only be me,
It's my self fulfilling prophecy.
“The same hand that can write a beautiful poem, can knock you out with one punch—that's Poetic Justice.”
― "Irish" Wayne Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-5456125933858585282012-07-15T14:30:00.001-04:002012-07-15T14:30:15.797-04:00RevisitedIt's been over two years since last I'd been there,
Though it seemed like a lifetime of pain and despair,
My feet found the platform at 96th and Broadway,
My heart sank instantly,
My knees nearly gave way,
I staggered up the stairs and into the light,
In my stomach- a pit,
Of both woe and of fright,
I scampered and scurried up through the street,
My eyes squinting desperately in hopeless defeat,Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-57724867837318893292012-06-24T23:33:00.001-04:002012-06-25T11:54:56.400-04:00Tears on the Upper East SideSitting at a bar on E 78th with a friend I just met,
Talking about life, love, and regret,
I sip my beer slowly. I try to be strong,
The jukebox plays another sad Irish song,
I tell her how I got to this part of town,
My eyes well up. My face starts to frown,
I take a deep breath and I go on to explain,
Life's been hard and I've been in pain,
People have died. Friends have betrayed,
Work isn't Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-67646078032460334662011-06-16T16:55:00.001-04:002011-06-17T00:56:14.214-04:00Father's Day
My nephew Jack graduated from Kindergarten today. I can't imagine him graduating from anywhere - not because he isn't brilliant, but because I can't believe how the years seem to blend into one another and travel at light speed. When Jack came into the world, life was so different. It seems like a century ago and his wisdom continues to impress me and leave me in a state of Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-68369364085135158212011-06-09T13:05:00.004-04:002011-06-09T15:14:12.786-04:00Hudson River DistortionsThose days now seem a distant memory, Or maybe I dreamt them, Or maybe I imagined them, As I stared out onto the Hudson, I remember you were there, Or maybe I dreamt that you were,Or maybe I imagined you wereFrom a rooftop on the riverside As I stared down onto the Hudson The waves tried to wash the images from my minds eye, Distorting what I thought I knew in the murky Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-22845271508120859642011-05-22T19:03:00.000-04:002011-05-22T19:03:33.858-04:00Never A BrideI have made my way down the aisle many times and have managed to stay single. My method is simple: I am ALWAYS the bridesmaid - NEVER the bride. Having experienced this privileged distinction, I can honestly say that these hand picked friends and relatives of the bride-to- be do not get the recognition they deserve. Instead, they get emotionally abused, verbally abused, Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-61720889133957122812011-05-21T14:49:00.001-04:002011-06-03T16:48:06.143-04:00If Tomorrow Never Comes ...I'm sitting at my desk, racking my brains on what to blog about. I have some poems percolating, but nothing publishable ... assuming any of those already published are. What could I talk about on Writing In Life? Boom ... it hits me like a meteorite that has plummeted from space just for me. I have been purposely ignoring the fact that this may be Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-59517201449847044582011-05-16T16:55:00.014-04:002011-05-18T16:17:38.524-04:00The Violence Of Silence ... A Work In ProgressThere is a certain violence,
In the notion of silence,
Not always a time of peace,
When sound begins to cease,
Sometimes the quiet is a threat,
And danger lurks in stillness met...
There is a certain violence,
In the notion of silence,
How it circles all around,
Never making not a sound,
It's sinister and hateful too,
Thounderous silence coming from you.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-73778881079047514622011-05-14T15:38:00.000-04:002011-05-14T15:38:28.731-04:00Dancing In LifeNothing to see - only darkness, No sound - only silence, No movement - ever still, Unseeing ... unhearing ... unmoving, Faith's blessings undone, Time's burdens unrelenting, Hope's promises unmet, Life's woes unyielding,
Then a shadow, My eyes begin to squint, Then a hum, My ears hear a faint melody, Then a twitch, My muscles slowly relax, Seeing ... hearing ... moving, I search to Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-8765398573850791702011-05-03T16:53:00.002-04:002011-05-04T10:05:10.863-04:00Measure a YearThen I was deaf,Now I am listening..Then I looked away,Now I look closely.Then I was paralyzed,Now I move forward.
Then I thought I knew,Now I know nothing.Then I believed,Now I have doubt.Then I wondered "what if",Now I know "then what."
Then I was low,Now I am grounded.Then I was impulsive,Now I wait and see.Then I was a shadow,Now I am a better me.
Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-26621204129975892772011-04-28T13:27:00.002-04:002011-05-04T10:00:16.242-04:00NecessityI was asked "What do you want"? My response listed attainable things. Later I realized that I left out two essential elements. The most important two. The two that are essential to acquiring.A voice and to be heard .... That is what I need-
What I want will follow...Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-55250654356300293802011-04-25T16:47:00.001-04:002011-04-25T16:47:53.905-04:00We The PeopleWhat good can come of this - the question recurring,As towers topple upon the great metropolis and its citizens,As the skies carry terror in unsuspecting crafts And lovers pledge their eternal devotion,As death's certainty plunges towards an eerie resting place,As fire burns in Capitals and open fields - now crematoriums,As jagged scraps of metal and concrete sand lay In endless heaps of memoriesChristinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-75787795033679876442011-04-15T00:13:00.000-04:002011-04-15T00:13:08.966-04:00Moving Away From BrokeDear Followers,
I have decided to make an attempt to broaden my horizons and stop focusing on the intense, the morose, the at times melodramatic content I have been posting on Writing In Life. Writing In Life is not easy. Life is not easy, hence my desire to try to lighten things up. Let's be real: this is my blog and I am me. I believe in freedom of speech (obviously), Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-76299347353676104072011-04-11T16:22:00.000-04:002011-04-11T16:25:01.378-04:00Reparations and LessonsAll of the grievous mistakes have been corrected,Except by you. All of the irreparable damages have been paid,Except by you.All of the unpardonable sins have been forgiven,Except by you. All of the reasons to disappear are gone ...Except by you.
You remain invisible,
In your glaring absence, In your blind ignorance, In your deafening silence,I find greater Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-38124241955112829382011-04-06T14:26:00.000-04:002011-04-06T14:26:21.405-04:00Work in Progress....
“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson I wish I could say that my time on the fronline of the battlefield of grief was smooth, (if there is such a thing as truly uncomplicated Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-59585583121163308962011-04-01T16:34:00.000-04:002011-04-01T16:34:01.106-04:00The Stranger that I Knew
Bewildered am I to know you no more,Close as I am to the depths of your core,I still know what your thoughts say,I still know how you feel,Yet only in my mind are you, At times to my dismay.
Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-85460723479181925812011-03-22T16:43:00.000-04:002011-03-23T11:45:40.358-04:00Opening a Gift 49 Years LaterOn Saturday night my cousin Kate Forman and I threw a St. Patrick's Day party in our home. During the festivities, my cousin Steven Grogan shared an amazing gift with us. In 1962 my father, Robert Grogan, performed with legendary Jose Feliciano in a group called The Modern Sound Trio (Jose's first band) and appeared on The Ted Mack Amateur Hour. He would Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-73313851841625359822010-02-15T15:30:00.000-05:002010-02-15T15:30:55.246-05:00TinnitusThe ringing in my ears began the day I slipped and fell,
And ever since it happend I've caught a glimpse of hell,
It comes,
It goes,
It's loud,
It's soft,
It comes when I'm in pain,
And so I hear the ringing more,
It's driving me insane!Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-35145679272879982432010-02-13T16:41:00.000-05:002010-02-13T16:42:30.845-05:00TruthThe other day I heard a truth I'd known from long ago
My confessor looked me in the eye and told a tale of woe
I heard the real not for my trust or even for my worth
The truth is that the truth is buried beneath the unearthed earth
I have seen and heard and known so many more than this
Confessions are not always for the the virtue they insist
Sometimes they are to weave more lies - to cheapen Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-68131391109216940792010-02-12T16:16:00.000-05:002010-02-12T16:16:58.683-05:00For TheresaMy friend has been so good to me
Except when we were new
Not knowing any better then
And now it seems so true
When all was right and confident
But shattered at the start
Though since that time my friend's been there
To mend this broken heart
My friend has been so good to me
Though hard to see that truth
Because in the beginning
Things got muddled in our youth
When all was hope and Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8649216836279630967.post-2317316180999418322010-02-12T16:13:00.000-05:002010-02-12T16:13:02.866-05:00Time's BurdenI planned to see my friend today,
But then I overslept,
The day got so ahead of me –
The promise went unkept,
Three days went by- another call,
My friend to say hello,
I told my friend that I was well,
But running to and fro,
A week went passed -A raincheck made,
Time so hard to find,
With work and bills and family,
Life keeping me behind,
Another week and then a month,
I vowed to see my Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10578397586890692671noreply@blogger.com1