Work in Progress....

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson

I wish I could say that my time on the fronline of the battlefield of grief was smooth, (if there is such a thing as truly uncomplicated grief).  I wish that I had not waged war against myself.  I wish that I could say that I did not let it decimate me.  I wish I coud say that I took no prisoners, that there were no additional casualties.  I cannot.  I did.  There were.  By the time I was finally ready to retreat and wave the white flag in front of my own face, it was from the rubble and haze of a self inflicted emotional Ground Zero.  In taking inventory of the damages incurred since the war began, I observed that the ruins consisted of two categories that merged as the battle raged on: internal and external.  Internally, I was bombarded by the barrage of emotions associated with bereavement.  They seized my entire self and cast away all that I had before the initial skirmish, leaving behind a mere shadow of who I was.  The external damage was of the pain and misery that other's sufferred as they got caught in the crossfire, landing with a resounding thud of twisted carnage