Thursday, April 28, 2011

Necessity

I was asked "What do you want"?
My response listed attainable things.  
Later I realized that I left out two essential elements. 
The most important two. 
The two that are essential to acquiring.
A voice and to be heard ....
That is what I need-
What I want will follow...

Monday, April 25, 2011

We The People

What good can come of this - the question recurring,
As towers topple upon the great metropolis and its citizens,
As the skies carry terror in unsuspecting crafts
And lovers pledge their eternal devotion,
As death's certainty plunges towards an eerie resting place,
As fire burns in Capitals and open fields - now crematoriums,
As jagged scraps of metal and concrete sand lay
In endless heaps of memories and lives lost,
As builders sift with bloodied hands the ruins of the unbreakable
And bagpipes whine in agony,
As citizens roam the now silent streets -
Praying for immortality beneath the fatal heap.

What good can come of this - the answer revealing,
As new patriots raise Old Glory and citizens sing in unison
The songs of their fractured homeland,
As strangers unite and embrace in sorrow,
As friends share tears of grief and pride of courage,
As neighbors pay alms and the once faithless
Seek solace in holy houses,
As leaders join around the globe to rid the world of terror.
As tears of loss and pride and fear and will pool into a sea of hope,
As history echoes the whispers of an old hero's cries,
The answer is resurrected - now a thunderous "We shall overcome!"

Written on April 10, 2002 in memory of all those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001. Let us never forget.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Moving Away From Broke

Dear Followers,
I have decided to make an attempt to broaden my horizons and stop focusing on the intense, the morose, the at times melodramatic content I have been posting on Writing In Life.  Writing In Life is not easy.  Life is not easy, hence my desire to try to lighten things up.  Let's be real: this is my blog and I am me.  I believe in freedom of speech (obviously), and I am an emotional human being, so posts of a dramatic nature are sure to emerge in the future.  For now I would just like to focus on the nicer things.  The promise of Spring.  How I pretend I don't know how funny I am when my audience bellyaches from laughing.  That I secretely love my job in many ways and take pride in my work.  Instead of talking about the friends who proved themselves false and broke my heart, why not celebrate the ones who helped put me back together?  And my family - the ones who are living and make my life complete.  I should focus on these things more and more often...

I humbly thank you for coming to see inside of my heart.  You have seen it broken.  I hope you will come again to see it healed. 

With Gratitude and Regards,
Christina

Monday, April 11, 2011

Reparations and Lessons

All of the grievous mistakes have been corrected,
Except by you. 
All of the irreparable damages have been paid,
Except by you.
All of the unpardonable sins have been forgiven,
Except by you. 
All of the reasons to disappear are gone ...
Except by you.

You remain invisible, 

In your glaring absence, 
In your blind ignorance,
In your deafening silence,
I find greater absolution,
I achieve needed vindication,
Amplifying what the masses were screaming...
You were never really there to begin with.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Work in Progress....


“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson
I wish I could say that my time on the fronline of the battlefield of grief was smooth, (if there is such a thing as truly uncomplicated grief).  I wish that I had not waged war against myself.  I wish that I could say that I did not let it decimate me.  I wish I coud say that I took no prisoners, that there were no additional casualties.  I cannot.  I did.  There were.  By the time I was finally ready to retreat and wave the white flag in front of my own face, it was from the rubble and haze of a self inflicted emotional Ground Zero.  In taking inventory of the damages incurred since the war began, I observed that the ruins consisted of two categories that merged as the battle raged on: internal and external.  Internally, I was bombarded by the barrage of emotions associated with bereavement.  They seized my entire self and cast away all that I had before the initial skirmish, leaving behind a mere shadow of who I was.  The external damage was of the pain and misery that other's sufferred as they got caught in the crossfire, landing with a resounding thud of twisted carnage

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Stranger that I Knew



Bewildered am I to know you no more,
Close as I am to the depths of your core,
I still know what your thoughts say,
I still know how you feel,
Yet only in my mind are you,
At times to my dismay.