Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Measure a Year

Then I was deaf,
Now I am listening..
Then I looked away,
Now I look closely.
Then I was paralyzed,
Now I move forward.

Then I thought I knew,
Now I know nothing.
Then I believed,
Now I have doubt.
Then I wondered "what if",
Now I know "then what."

Then I was low,
Now I am grounded.
Then I was impulsive,
Now I wait and see.
Then I was a shadow,
Now I am a better me.





12 comments:

  1. Reviews from Writing.com: "I was completely in awe! could you please respond back? The irony in reading your piece needs to be explained in more detail from me! I just finished a piece, it only needed a title and the change of a key word. I no sooner then read your piece and about fell off my chair!! So nice to know that like they say, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Thank you"-Denise

    "I love how you move across verb tenses in this piece. The usage of "Then" and "Now" figuratively transported me from one sentence to the next. It's an interesting play upon words that I haven't seen elsewhere. I love this work. Hope to read more from you! 5 STARS!" -Kimberly

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  2. nice transformative verse, enjoyed your transitions from one to another before resting in the new you

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  3. meant to say welcome to one shot as well...smiles.

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  4. Thank you Brian! I have been trying to get a little feedback and recognition on my work. I really appreciate the feedback and hope you continue to read my lines!

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  5. this sounds like real life...and welcome at dVerse..

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  6. hey i been here before...you def measure up...bring it to the pub...

    nice progression through the stages as well...

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  7. great progression throughout this indeed, also liked that first line, it caught me offguard slightly - nice to see it up on dVerse!

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  8. Nice use of contrasts to make your point, and all neatly tied up.

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  9. Such a great progression, wonderful back and forth tug a war type feel to your verse, nice!

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  10. This is nice...I like the to and fro, leap and pause..until the better me.

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  11. Terrific write, with a wonderful message. I say keep letting it flow; you've got something good going on.

    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/the-sun-came-up-again-4/

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